High self-worth, properly rooted in our identity as children of God, is essential for success in any field and is the foundation of personal and spiritual growth. Before exploring seven Christ-centered ways to cultivate this God-given self-worth, I want to share a personal story that illustrates this journey.
I spent my first twelve years in two tiny villages in Ghana. My typical day involved rising at dawn for farm work, walking barefoot to school, returning to the farm after classes, fetching water over long distances, and doing homework by the light of my grandmother’s lantern. Among the boys, I had a lot of influence; they often relied on me for planning soccer games, hunting, and other activities. My leadership skills and abilities in soccer and volleyball frequently earned me the role of team captain.
I didn’t realize I had any issues until I arrived in the big city of Accra. The boys there teased me relentlessly for being skinny. Some even went as far as saying I needed to see a doctor because I had all the features of Kwashiorkor, a form of malnutrition. Soon, I began to believe their taunts, and I became extremely self-conscious and frustrated with my image. After several years of being overwhelmed by this negative self-focus, I began an intentional journey – one fueled by faith – to see myself through God’s eyes and increase my self-worth. These are the principles I learned and what I’m going to share with you today.
Seven Christ-Centered Ways to Cultivate Your Self-Worth
Your worth is established not by your accomplishments or appearance, but by the fact that you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14) and loved unconditionally by your Creator. Focusing on this truth is the surest path to genuine self-worth.
1. Guard Your Mind and Reject Negative Self-Talk
The Bible tells us to take every thought captive to obey Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). You become what you think about most of the time. This is why it’s vital to focus on the strengths, talents, and unique gifts God has blessed you with, and how you can use them for His glory. Do not dwell on weaknesses, knowing that God’s power is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). For instance, while my physical frame might have kept me from winning a wrestling match, I knew I could excel in a battle of intellects. The more I focused on the opportunities and gifts I was blessed with, the more I felt affirmed in my unique design. When you meditate on what you can do, empowered by the Spirit, rather than what you can’t, you position yourself for spiritual and personal growth.
2. Embrace Your Unique Design – Stop Comparing Yourself
As the writer Oscar Wilde once said, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” More importantly, the Bible teaches that we are one body with many members, each with a different function (1 Corinthians 12:12−20). You are a unique part of God’s tapestry. Comparing your appearance, accomplishments, or spiritual gifts to others is a quick path to losing sight of your own God-given worth and purpose. You should certainly admire the good work and achievements of others and learn from them, but your focus must be inward: look within, appreciate who you are in Christ, and identify your passions and unique values. We all have hidden treasures within, and it’s our God-given responsibility to discover and use them. Learn to love the personality and gifts God gave you and be willing to work on your flaws, remembering that Christ alone is perfect.
3. Work on What You Can Change and Release What You Cannot
Focus your energy on areas where you can exercise faithful stewardship. For instance, you can take care of the temple of the Holy Spirit – your body (1 Corinthians 6:19) – by exercising or controlling your diet. You can change your performance in school or at work through diligence and hard work, and you can change negative habits by seeking God’s help for constant and never-ending improvement. Make a list of things you want to change, take prayerful steps to address them, and celebrate your progress. On the other hand, you cannot change the past. Do not dwell on old mistakes or regrets; God’s mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22−23). If it is beyond changing, leave it in God’s hands, focus on the present, and step forward into the future He has for you.
4. Set Goals Rooted in Purpose and Work Diligently to Achieve Them
Setting well-defined and time-bound goals, especially those that align with your calling, will inspire you to take action. The more you are able to accomplish short-term goals through hard work and determination, the more your confidence – your belief in your ability to follow through – will grow. When I was in high school, a housemate criticized me for being too focused on academics and being skinny. I decided to get involved in track and field. I set my sights on a high position in the 5,000-meter race, trained hard, and won second place out of fourteen runners. I was proud of proving my critic wrong and achieving the goal I set for myself. Diligence in any field honors God (Colossians 3:23).
5. Be Willing to Learn from Your Mistakes with Humility
We all stumble and make mistakes. The most important step is to admit your error, seek forgiveness (from God and others), and immediately think of ways to avoid repeating it. Rather than shifting blame, take responsibility for your actions. This humility is a mark of Christ-like character and will open countless doors of learning and self-improvement, allowing God to shape you into the person He designed you to be (Proverbs 9:9).
6. Put Your God-Given Talents Into Action
Be confident in the talents that you are blessed with – your spiritual gifts, natural abilities, and acquired skills (1 Peter 4:10). It is our duty to find them and use them. When you find these gifts, put them into action and keep working hard to improve yourself. Accept the fact that everyone excels at different things. Failing at a task doesn’t mean you are a failure; it simply means you haven’t yet found a better way to approach that task or that God has a different path for you. Also, be willing to try new things, as this is often how God reveals a hidden ability. You might be an incredible pianist or painter, but you’ll never know until you try.
7. Seek Ways to Serve and Contribute to Others
Jesus modeled a life of service, and a focus on giving shifts the attention away from yourself and onto the needs of others. I like to ask myself: What will my contributions be? What can I do for one person, my church, or my community? We are called to love our neighbors as ourselves. Life is truly about giving – our time, energy, resources, and knowledge – to help make a difference. You can support a good cause, volunteer for a community group, or simply help a friend struggling with addiction or academic challenges. In serving others, we find a profound sense of purpose and worth (Matthew 20:28).
Improving your self-worth by rooting it in your identity as a beloved child of God will help you develop a positive and grateful attitude toward life. People with high self-worth are happier, form genuine relationships easily, and believe they can achieve the dreams God has placed in their hearts. Never for a moment allow the negative views of other people to become your reality. You can cultivate this self-worth by guarding your mind, embracing your unique design, focusing on what you can change, setting purposeful goals, learning from mistakes, activating your talents, and serving others.
Which of these seven principles speaks most powerfully to your current journey?
