“… if sinners entice you, do not consent” Proverbs 1:10
Peer pressure.
The very mention of it turns people off. Many scornfully consider it a youthful failing to be swayed by peers; they confidently believe that they are too old to succumb to juvenile enticement. Others think they are too strong in their will, to be pushed in a direction by someone else. Still others believe themselves to be simply too worldly-wise to fall prey to the pressure of peers to do otherwise than what they would choose.
Have you ever been dismayed at news that someone you are acquainted with, has been involved in undesirable, negative or wrongful conduct that is completely uncharacteristic of what one would expect from their upbringing, social circles, educational attainments, line of work or religious background, persuasion or profession?
Such news often throws up such questions as: how could they be responsible for, or be part of such a dastardly deed, or conduct, or lifestyle when they were brought up so well, or were given so much; how did they leave off the well-worn path of good character and social accountability to descend into the abyss of such failing?
Peer pressure can lead you into strange pathways until you lose your way and perhaps, even yourself, and it does not matter your age, attainments or social standing.
How does this happen?
When you keep company with persons who practise conduct which you would otherwise not condone or accept, you find yourself gradually becoming accepting, then approving, of it. It is a short road from there to practising it, as you hear excuses for, or justification of it, until it loses its ability to shock you, and ultimately, draws you in.
A wise preacher once said: “there are no boundaries in darkness.” That means, what you used to condemn or shun, can become very acceptable to you once you are around it long enough. Then you are likely to put your feet on the path (perhaps just to test it out). Unfortunately, the endpoint will keep receding, until you find yourself in the middle of a road that is strange, but from which there is apparently no turning back.
In the Bible, there is the story of the son of a king, who lost his way, and ultimately his life, because he made friends with a man with no sense of morality, listened to his unwise, ungodly counsel, and yielded to a plan that should have shocked him but did not, because it was hatched by one he called his friend.
Amnon the first-born son of King David.
2 Samuel 13:1-18 is the beginning of a tragic story that unfolded in the family of King David. It started with a king’s son whose emotions were so confused, that he fancied himself in love with his stepsister, the beautiful Tamar, sister of Absalom.
The events that became his undoing started with the whisper of an amoral friend and cousin of Amnon-Jonadab.
Jonadab counselled the pining Amnon to deceive King David, isolate Tamar and rape her. This Amnon did, and after the deed – whether filled with loathing for Tamar or self-loathing – cast Tamar out of his presence and his room, disdainfully. Out of revenge for the shameful conduct that had dishonoured his sister, Absalom killed Amnon, went into exile, and returned with a plot to dethrone King David, losing his life in that rebellion.
The lesson? Avoid bad company. The scripture ‘Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” (1 Corinthians 15:33), is guidance that you cannot afford to ignore.
The Apostle Paul’s instruction to the young Timothy, to “Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly”, (2 Timothy 16) is not only about holding conversations with unbelievers, but also about keeping company, as it leads to ‘more ungodliness’.
Keep good company.
This is not to say that you must avoid (or be unfriendly towards) persons with a different belief system or lifestyle. After all you have no control over who will be your work colleague, a fellow student, sometimes even one with whom you may have to share living space.
What you must avoid, is an active friendship, a keeping of company with that person beyond making the space you are compelled to share, pleasant. I refer to a relationship in which you share their life, and they yours.
Regarding this, I must alert you to one more lie that many have believed: that it is possible to keep company with unbelievers, and still keep the demands of the faith. Some fancy that their friendship may lead to a change in that other person. If you have believed it too, please do yourself a favour and abandon it, because you are more likely to be drawn into their lifestyle after you have received “an education” that their lifestyle is an excusable choice.
While as a Christian, you are called to share your faith, you must place limits on how much you allow yourself to be drawn into the closeness of friendship with a person who does not share your belief system, your faith in Christ.
Do not by your failure to place limits on who you allow into your life, open yourself to enticement to sin. It will lead you down the path of certain destruction. There are many things over which you have no power of choice, including the family into which you are born, but you have the power to choose your friends. Use that power wisely. It may be the difference between life and death.
Proverbs 13:20 is wise counsel which you must take to heart: “He who walks with wise men will be wise; But the companion of fools will be destroyed”.
